If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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