we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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