I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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