We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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