I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
