id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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