You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
