Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize