my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
