super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
