She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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