She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
