I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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