Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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