Can Purell be used as lube?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
