She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
