i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
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You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
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I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.