I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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