dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
