im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
