Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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