I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
