Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
