Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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