someone threw a dead crab at me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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