Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
