I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We are all done wearing pants today
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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