dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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