So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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