I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
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I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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