Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
