Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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