I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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