So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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