awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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