Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i now understand why vodka
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
