At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I need moral support for this bender
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
