Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Even my vagina gasped.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize