I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize