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No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just pynch a tree in the face
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
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