Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I really want to fuck my wifes sister.

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  (816): I really want to fuck my wifes sister. http://tfl.nu/nla0
  Replies (42) Good night (1244) Bad night (4526)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!

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  (913): Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life! http://tfl.nu/nhg0
  Replies (22) Good night (1457) Bad night (3222)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.

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  (306): I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom. http://tfl.nu/90oj
  Replies (32) Good night (1477) Bad night (5011)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...

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  (617): she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her... http://tfl.nu/azzw
  Replies (21) Good night (5213) Bad night (2662)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.

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  (571): she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant. http://tfl.nu/awg1
  Replies (8) Good night (4277) Bad night (1040)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?

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  (641): Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug? http://tfl.nu/o9ys
  Replies (16) Good night (1026) Bad night (3413)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...

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  (541): Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds... http://tfl.nu/27nn
  Replies (6) Good night (2146) Bad night (1007)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.

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  (214): look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT. http://tfl.nu/esfv
  Replies (4) Good night (2836) Bad night (741)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven

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  (215): Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven http://tfl.nu/y2y3
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (472)
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  (714): View more from California

  I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit

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  (714): I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit http://tfl.nu/55p1
  Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (371)
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  (949): View more from California

  YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!

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  (949): YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER! http://tfl.nu/b6lu
  Replies (3) Good night (714) Bad night (589)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Drunk yet?

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.

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  (336): Drunk yet? (980): Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/2v48
  Replies (0) Good night (889) Bad night (370)
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  (415): View more from California

  If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning

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  (415): If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning http://tfl.nu/qp15
  Replies (0) Good night (874) Bad night (350)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.

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  (612): I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin. http://tfl.nu/dn4i
  Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.

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  (561): Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later. http://tfl.nu/vwre
  Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (359)

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