You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner