Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
