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I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
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