..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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