SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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