why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
