We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.