yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
