I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
