just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
