ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
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I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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