The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
