You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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