Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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