Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
