i love accidental penises.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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