i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
