Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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