Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
