Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
